Guest Author: Brianne Grebil

Love Doesn’t Care If You Forget
Lessons of Love from Alzheimer’s and Dementia

By Brianne Grebil

Learned, but not Taught

The most valuable things that I’ve learned about life, I learned from my mother. But I learned them long after she was able to teach.

My mother was diagnosed with early on-set Alzheimer’s five years ago at the age of 62. She is now 67, and near the end of her journey. Seeing her change as the disease progresses has been incredibly painful.

It has also been the most enlightening experience of my life. Going through this with her, I have learned profound lessons about love, hope, and peace. Though this disease has brought more challenges than I ever could have imagined, it has also shown me more beautiful things than I ever could have hoped for.

Something Else to See

There is a perspective we often unintentionally hold when we face something as difficult as watching a loved one struggle through Alzheimer’s and dementia. We keep our eyes and our hearts locked on the challenges.

And there are indeed challenges.

We keep focusing on what we’re losing, what the disease takes away. And it does take. But if we keep our attention there, in the land of what is lost, there is nothing we can find other than pain, despair, heartbreak.

Rarely do we ask the questions:

• What else is there to see?
• What is left when everything else is gone?
• What remains?
• What is not damaged?

And where those questions lead, can take us into new territory.

My mother unknowingly showed me these things. She taught me what is beyond disease, beyond heartbreak, beyond disappointment. Though I’ve always loved my mother dearly, through Alzheimer’s, she showed me a kind of love I hadn’t known.

Life-changing Lessons

What I learned through this experience with her has forever changed my life, but the lessons felt too big to keep to myself. I wrote a book sharing these lessons, in hopes of lighting an otherwise dark path for others who have been forced to go on this journey.

The Journey of the Book

I had been writing about my mother all along the Alzheimer’s journey. At first, this writing was just for me. It was cathartic. Putting words to my experience helped get it out of my body and mind, and in a way it released some of the hardest parts.

At times, I would share my writing on my personal Facebook page. From the comments left on my posts, I soon realized that my ability to put words to the experience was also cathartic for others. It touched people, even those who were not going through a similar experience.

I began to write and share more.

I could see a kind of beauty in my struggles that softened the blow for me. Helping others see beauty as well gave my mother’s struggle a different meaning.

And so I condensed what I have seen into a small book, highlighting the five biggest lessons my mother has shown me. Love Doesn’t Care If You Forget is a short, but powerful book that talks about love from a different perspective.

My hope is that it will help others walking the path of Alzheimer’s and dementia look in a different direction, so that they too can see something more beautiful than the disease.

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Interview with Best Selling Author, Michael Neill

 

Interviewed on Unashamedly Human Podcast

 

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Brianne Grebil

Brianne is a writer, coach and teacher who has worked with people all over the world to help them see the powerful beauty and simple truths of life.

Connect with Brianne

Websites: LoveAndDementia.com and BrianneGrebil.com
Facebook: @BrianneGrebil and @LoveAndDementia
Instagram: @BrianneGrebil and @LoveAndDementia