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Dementia-Mama-Drama: A Daily Dose of Dementia with Mama Drama
By Vincent Zappacosta
A collection of our “Daily Doses” of dementia. “Dementia-Mama-Drama” chronicles our thirteen year journey as caregivers for Mama. Sometimes funny, sometimes sad, but always heartfelt with short chapters sprinkled with photos.
In the Garden
Mama wanted her story told and that’s how “Dementia-Mama-Drama” started. In the early days of my daily visits with her in the nursing home, I would have to take notes to remember what the doctors and nurses said. Being a caregiver was a new role for me so I also started taking notes on my mothers behavior.
Always wanting to be the center of attention, Mama was feeling left out one day and blurted:
“What are all these damn questions you ask the doctors? You’re always writing something. Why don’t you write about me if you’re gonna write?”
I explained that I was writing all about her, but she didn’t really get it. She wanted me to ask her questions!
The book started from there.
Mama: The Social Media Maven!
I started taking photos of her and bringing in old photo albums for her to look at. It was like turning on the light bulb of her memory. She loved to look at the pictures and started telling me stories which then turned into songs.
Everything was a song to Mama – she was most alive when singing. I remember when I was growing up that she always sang and had a salty sense of humor. During the daily visits, we would often use colorful language which would make her laugh and snapped her out of her moods!
Oh, the Talent Show!
The daily ritual of questions, singing, and cursing became great therapy for Mama, my husband, and me. It helped get us through many of the difficult “daily doses” of dementia that we were experiencing.
During our years as caregivers, there weren’t many books or resources out there for us. The ones that were available didn’t resonate with me. We were going through hell but still able to bring humor and joy into our visits.
We didn’t see that in any of the books.
That was one of the things we wanted to share with other caregivers in our book. You can make your own rules and find your own way of coping with dementia. After all, you know your loved one more than anyone else.
Vincent, Mama, and Douglass: The Feathered Trio
After Mama passed I needed to put the book aside for a while because it was too overwhelming to finish. Completing the book would make me have to accept the fact that she was gone. But the “show must go on” as I learned from Mama and now her story has been told.
Hopefully “Dementia-Mama-Drama” will help other caregivers deal with their own “dementia drama.”
“Dementia-Mama-Drama” is available in paperback and eBook formats on Amazon.
Mama “loved” her salad!
What Readers Say: Mama’s Fans
Available on Amazon
Patty Guinto, Alzheimer’s Association
”Always honest, real and inspiring posts from Dementia Mama Drama. I’ve enjoyed following the journey. Thanks for sharing and baring your soul, telling the story and making it count.”
Leeza Gibbons, Leeza’s Care Connection
“As a doctor, this is an amazing, humorous and hopeful must read. Informative, written with wit and insights for caregivers and families dealing with the uncharted waters of dementia.”
Dr. Eva Dahl
“I’m happy to have been a part of her care… your family left a tattoo on my heart that I promise to never cover up!”
Magdalena L, RN
“A warm, funny, ultimately hopeful look at caring for a parent. I related to many of the challenges chronicled, having lost family to Alzheimer’s. The author put into words many of the emotions that I felt. A great resource for families dealing with the same situation. The photos and stories managed to beautifully tie the present and past together.”
Stacey N, Blogger
As I read the book, I smiled, I held back tears. I relived some of the same feelings and moments, having lived with my father’s struggle with Alzheimers and my mother’s dementia. The book is a quick read that tells the story of a fun loving woman and the son she adores. They feed off each other with humor and love. Thank you for telling your story with humor and grace and a dose of reality. I fully enjoyed the book. BRAVO.
Kelly A, Former Caregiver
Vincent Zappacosta
Vincent Zappacosta
Vincent Zappacosta has been a writer and photographer ever since he was a little boy back in Catholic school. His professional background has been in theatre, yoga, and graphic design.
His writings as a caregiver and a strong advocate for dementia and Alzheimer’s have been published by several leading Alzheimer’s organizations. He has received national awards for his graphic design but still has room on his shelf for more.
Vincent and his husband Douglass Christensen continue work on “Some Of These Daze” the play based on the book “Dementia-Mama-Drama.”
Mama will finally be on the stage where she belongs.
Connect with Vincent
Twitter: @DementiaMama
Facebook: Dementia.Mama.Drama
Instagram: Dementia_Mama_Drama
Blog: Dementia-Mama-Drama.com
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